My favorite part of the Republican National Convention was when Huckabee said he was sick and tired of hearing about lack of experience. I wanted to jump up on the stage and say: Whoa, Mike, who made experience an issue? You guys did. John McCain did. He didn?t give a speech without mentioning the experience thing. He was dripping with experience. And not just any experience, but the important kind of experience. National security experience. You know, the answering the phone at 3:00 a.m. kind of experience. And then he goes and picks someone with no experience. Governor Palin hasn?t ever negotiated with a foreign leader. She hasn?t talked with one. She hasn?t even met one. This is understandable since she hasn?t ever been to a foreign country. She hasn?t voted on any national security issues. She doesn?t even have any national security positions. Huckabee, all the Democrats did was say: If national security experience is such a big deal, John, why would you pick someone who has none? I probably would have been booed off the stage, but it?s a legitimate question. And, besides, I love it when Republicans boo on cue. They did it a lot at the convention. The speaker would plunge a rhetorical sword in some absent victim, there would be a pause, and then a pathetic, weak-kneed chorus of boos.

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A lot of the convention was spent explaining that Governor Palin has executive experience. Turns out she has more executive experience than anyone on the Democratic ticket. Why, she even has more executive experience than John McCain. So of the four people on the national tickets Governor Palin has the most executive experience. You have to admire the strident, straight-faced delivery of this wooden wampum, but you gotta wonder. Do they really expect us to buy this malarkey and conclude that she is the most experienced candidate? The argument is a tribute to someone?s belief in the general stupidity of the American people.

If there is any kind of experience I would like to see, it?s experience in Washington. I want people who know how Washington works so they can make things happen. I want people who know how Washington works so they can fix what needs fixing. I don?t want someone who?s never even been to Washington.

But the experience thing is a sop. They are going to make a big deal out of it. I don?t really care about it. If it was that easy, we could just add up a candidate?s years of experience and bingo. Governor Palin should be President because she has the most executive experience. Sensible people haven?t made an issue out of experience because they know that some of the people who have had the least experience on paper have turned out to be really good. Abraham Lincoln comes to mind. And they know that some of the people who have had the most experience on paper have turned out to be horrible. W. had loads of executive experience. Look how that worked out. Experience is not a good guide. But it?s not a bad selling point if you have no ideas.

Anyway, it?s great that Governor Palin has executive experience because listening to her speech it?s pretty clear she doesn?t have much else. Oh, mind you, she can read a speech. She maintains a good pace. She plainly loves sarcasm. And she doesn?t or, at least didn?t, flub any lines. But what?s the vision?

First, she?s going to clean up Washington and make it work the way it?s supposed to: For the people. She?s a reformer who will work to end corruption and break the good ol? boy stranglehold. Tell me when was the last time you heard a candidate who was not going to end corruption and make government work for the people? There isn?t one. There never has been one. Given all the candidates over all the years who have gone to Washington to end corruption it?s a wonder there?s any corruption left. The place must be a bottomless pit of corruption. Well-meaning candidates are thrown into the pit the way absorbent materials are thrown into oil spills. They suck up as much corruption as they can and then just sink downward. Power corrupts. That?s it. It?s not something you clean up. It?s not something you end. You just keep fighting it. And when you?ve been there and know what it is, you probably stand a better chance of fighting it than someone who hasn?t been there and doesn?t know what it is and how it works. But, anyway, she?s going to end corruption. Bravo.

She?s going to end our dependence on foreign oil. The centerpiece of her plan is to drill, drill, drill. It doesn?t seem noteworthy to her that most experts think plundering our own scant oil resources will have quite literally no impact on our dependence. It is generally clear that to end our dependence on foreign oil we need to end our dependence on oil. So it would seem that the centerpiece of any effective energy plan would be to focus on alternative sources. Opening new areas for drilling is jim dandy, but it doesn?t address the problem. And one wonders whether anyone will be drilling anyway. There are plenty of areas open for drilling now that no one is drilling. Governor Palin adds, almost as an afterthought, that we will also explore new energy sources. So, Governor, you want to make the least effective way of dealing with the problem the centerpiece of your plan and the most effective way an afterthought. Would it be different if Alaska were not an oil producing state that depends heavily on revenues from oil production?

Moving on: Health care. Not one word. Nothing. Zilch. Everyone agrees there is a national crisis in health care and that the new administration needs to take action. It is a major issue. Governor Palin says nothing about it. Not even some pablum. It is astounding. Not one word.

Maybe I shouldn?t be surprised. After all she didn?t spend much time on her penchant for bookbanning or creationism either.

The War. Actually I couldn?t believe my ears. She thinks we are going to achieve victory with honor. Of course, like McCain, she seems to have no idea what this so-called victory would consist of. No doubt once we have it they will let us know. I?ve already said what I have to say about the honor thing. This part of her speech was essentially dribble covered in flags, badges, big words and noble sentiments. It?s the winner never quits and the quitter never wins mentality which is fine for hockey, but irrelevant to war. More apropos to war is knowing when to hold ?em and knowing when to fold ?em. Of course, most apropos of all would be knowing when to start a war and when not to, but the Republicans don?t want to go there.

The one really good thing about Governor Palin that she didn?t mention is that she?s no Cheney.

A lot of the speech was about John McCain, son and grandson of Admirals, who went into the Navy. Go figure. Maybe he did it because he?s a super-patriot and maybe he did it because that?s what guys are supposed to do in his family. I don?t know. I don?t care. People join the military for all kinds of reasons. You know that and I know that. They are not all great patriots. He may be. He sure is tough, that?s for sure. But if the point is that he made a sacrifice, I?m not sure how they get away with denying that Obama also made a sacrifice by giving up very lucrative opportunities to work instead with people who had lost their jobs and were down on their luck. Very few people show the guts and endurance that John McCain did. Very few people take the path Obama chose. They both made sacrifices and good for them. But please, please don?t tell me that the reason I enjoy freedom is because people like McCain went to Viet Nam. That?s over the top unless, of course, you believe that there was a time when the Vietnamese actually threatened our freedom. And if Governor Palin believes that, I need to hear her explain it to me. Well, actually, no. That?s okay. I don?t think I need to hear what she has to say about that. I can only take so much.

That she and many speakers seemed to suffer from some common form of amnesia concerned me. The last eight years seemed to have been erased from their memories. I mean here are the people who have spent like crazy, borrowed from the Chinese to cut taxes for the rich, plunged us into war, debt, recession, corruption, international disrepute and committed blatant violations of the constutition and they blandly offer neither explanation nor apology. Do they think we have forgotten? Do they have nothing to say about it? Are they just going to go on pretending like it didn?t happen? Suddenly they want change. They want to clean up corruption. They want to get rid of the me-first politicians in Washington. Who do they think has been running Washington for the past eight years? Space aliens? Can you remember a national convention in which neither the party?s sitting President nor sitting Vice-President even made an appearance. They let Laura come. But that was it. No W. No Dick. If the Republicans want change they should consult psychiatrists not voters.